Seeing Beyond the Ordinary

Discover the Beauty in Each Day


conscious living

Facing Fear through Mindfulness

By Susan Nefzger

When you let go of fear and face your surroundings, you call up the ability to alter the experience of the present moment. At this point, you can change the present landscape by changing your perception. Its not escapism, it is the opposite, actually. The action taken assists in the realization that what you are sensing is only one way to interpret what is occurring.

The goal of mindfulness is to embrace the present, which helps by observing it, allowing for distance.

Then by observing without being immersed, you can interpret the current situation in a number of ways.

Think of a prism of light through the window reflecting off glass, you can see the how the light refracts off the facets of glass or a crystal. While each perspective is part of the whole, they are all unique. Nothing is the absolute truth, though all are true.

Creation of Your Reality

Adopting a New Perspective

Since our mind has created patterns of thoughts and behaviors, we tend to filter our thoughts and actions based on what we already believe.

Becoming mindful of your own filters is a first step. Then learning how to change the filter, reminds us of our power to do so. Next, making a new choice is simplified, and creating new patterns helps you write a new story. The new story exists without the past filters and steers you to see the difference.

So, step back from the current reality, notice all the details, the sights the smells, the filters, the patterns. What interpretations are you imposing on what is happening in your present moment?

Owning how you feel and experience life is what will help you shift your feelings. The goal is to explore your internal landscape with a level of detachment instead of being psychologically or emotionally identified with it. The key is detachment. Detachment allows for observing, instead of being that something.

Identification feels permanent like it will be that way forever. Observation sets you free from the illusion of emotional permanence.

Mindfulness Practice

Gaining distance and moving into the observer role can be trying at times. Especially if you are already feeling negative. Try these tips to gain a regular mindfulness moment in your day. Expand that moment into 15 minutes and then 30. As you realize what it takes by retraining your brain, you can begin to live consciously without emotional pain or attachment.

  1. Find or create a guided meditation to use.

A guided meditation of any length or style, can help you embrace where you are.As you listen to the meditation, you become relaxed and slide into the observer position.

Once you are in the observer position, you’ll realize the anxiety or fear or emotion is not you. It is your state of mind brought about by circumstances. You can see clearly with the added perspective and distance provided by the guided meditation. What you observe is separate from you. Then you begin to see how you change your perspective of what you observe, which changes everything!

  1. Practice Observation

For example, just because your friend or sibling says they don’t like your outfit, it doesn’t have to elicit a response from you. Remember, no response is a response. So, by utilizing observation, you realize you are not the young person who would take it personally, because of an adolescent need for approval or acceptance. No, you are not your feelings of insecurity.Yes, you feel those things, but the feelings are not you, because you are separate from them.

When you separate from your emotions, you create space in which to make a different choice.

We can always remain present to understand the situation between observing and emotions.

This is the power of mindfulness! Once you get it, you then trust in your ability to remain present. The practice expands and you are living consciously on a daily basis. You are happier and your family, friends and colleagues are too.

3) If it happens that you face negative and challenging emotions, just slow down and be still. This action will likely be the opposite of what you feel you need to do. But in the stillness, listen to your intuition as it speaks, guiding and assisting you in the direction of the next right action for you to take. Breathe deeply through your nostrils, in and out a few times, feel the difference? Ahhhhhh…

Featured post


This Thanksgiving, I am grateful for many things. Top of the list is my Mother. For without her choice to bring me and my twin into the world, I would not be here, sharing my gift as I have been led to do. Recently, she has experienced a health crisis that is possibly her last call to be alive. She is a fighter and I think, afraid to die at age 93. We are all trying our best to care for her. Since I live in another state, its been difficult to navigate and has required all of my strength and self awareness to manage emotionally and spiritually without fear. So, due to Covid-19 and its exponential increasing rates, I am not with my Mother this day.

This leads me to the end of our year of 2020. As we move toward the new year and a new way of life, what are you thankful for? Can we ask each other how we are and listen to the answer with compassion, as the Duchess of Suffolk pointed out in her cogent op-ed recently published worldwide, “The Losses We Share.” If you haven’t read it, take a minute to do so. It’s poignant and searingly honest. (

Moving on to the point of this blog, I wanted to send all of you a thoughtful way to focus on the present moment, which is all we really have. Listen to your Mom and Dad if they are still alive, listen to your family, loved ones friends, and colleagues. Remember that not everyone sees things from your perspective. Its sometimes hard for me to remember that! I do try. We never really know what others are experiencing in their day. Being present enables us to commit to the relationships we foster with our time and love. Not while on your phone, or watching tv, or listening to music. But straight up in your face, honest listening in aliveness. It is way more fulfilling to connect with another human than anything else. Isn’t it why we are all here?

Besides discovering our purpose to share with the world, which shares joy and is uplifting to all, connecting is ultimate to the human experience. We can’t fulfill our purpose until we listen to our heart, through stillness, and that is when we listen to our soul.

Each moment of living holds a key to the next experience allowed to unfold in the flow of life. This Thanksgiving, can we be in the moment, appreciate it for what it is, find something to be grateful for and share that gratitude, joy and love of life as conscious living human beings?

I send this wish for all of you in this moment! Enjoy!

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